Both my husband and I come from large families. Not just the amount of siblings, but also our extended families. Cousins (1st, 2nd, and 3rd), aunts, and uncles. Families whose nucleus has remained strong over the years. It is one of the biggest blessings, but also has some downfalls. One of those downfalls is that sometimes you don't get to build a strong relationship with everyone. You just have members you get along with better or spend more time with. Sometimes lives don't sync and you only get to see someone for a special occasion or holiday. My husband's Tio (uncle) Tomas was one of those people for me.
I have been a member of my husband's family for almost twenty years. Tio Tomas was one of those elders who I always made the time to greet, but really my relationship with him wasn't that deep. What I did know about Tio Tomas was from my husband, his siblings, and his cousins. There seemed to be a lot of hunting stories of Tio Tomas and his brothers (my late father-in-law included) because they used to have a hunting lease that they would take their sons out to. There are classic stories that they tell over and over and there are a few inside jokes that stem from events that unfolded in some sort of humorous way where my husband and his cousins only need to say one word or phrase and they immediately erupt in laughter. A lot of those stories seem to end up where Tio Tomas or one of the elders would get after the younger generation for something they did or said. When I would first hear these stories I used to think that perhaps Tio Tomas was very strict because of the way a lot of those stories would end. As I have grown older and I am now a parent, I have come to realize that the reality was that these younger dudes were just pains in a**. I do say that with love. Haha.
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| A photo I took of his photos that afternoon. The three brothers recreating a photo from their childhood. |
This last December we found ourselves in San Antonio. My husband decided he wanted to try and visit his Tio with our children. It seemed like a wonderful plan especially since it was right after Christmas and before the New Year. We surprised Tio Tomas that day. He was seated cozily in his recliner watching football. It was one of those college holiday bowl games, although don't remember who was playing. We walked in and said our hellos. Our kids made themselves comfortable on chairs at the table or on the floor. My husband sat in his uncle's electric wheelchair (at his uncle's request) that just happened to be ever so slightly in front of the TV. As the saying goes, my husband "makes a better door than a window". My husband tried to make conversation and small talk with his uncle but you could tell he kinda really wanted to see how this football game was gonna play out as he craned his neck to see behind my husband. It is a family trait for a lot of the members of my husband's family...football is their weakness, so my husband totally understood. In between plays and during commercials, Tio would pipe up as my husband asked about family members and stories about his dad. Our kids looked around his apartment and noticed family photos and my husband and his uncle would point out people, like his brother (their grandfather), who they never got to meet. Then we came to a beautiful portrait that hung on the wall. It was of a young couple on their wedding day. In one of the silences of us watching the game my husband pointed to it and told our children that it was Tio Tomas and his wife, Tia (aunt) Yolanda. Tia Yolanda had passed away several years ago. In this moment, the enchantment with the football game was broken and Tio Tomas looked up from TV and glanced right over at the wedding portrait. Immediately he went into the story of how they met and fallen in love. How some members in her family were opposed to them seeing each other and decided that perhaps it would be best if she forgot him and move away at once. They were both so heartbroken. He said he had gone to his mother with tears in his eyes asking for advice on what to do. They ended up as family (his sister and brother accompanying him) going over to Tia Yolanda's grandmother's house. After a conversation with her family, he asked to marry Tia Yolanda and the rest is history. It was the sweetest story and it was so touching because his eyes welled up with tears as he told it. Age, time, and not even death had tamed his love for his wife. He was just as in love with her that December afternoon as he was that day he went to ask for her hand. You could tell that he missed her so much and being away from her had left him incomplete.
This last Sunday my husband received word that Tio Tomas had passed away at the age of 88. He had not been feeling well the last several weeks and ultimately everyone knew he would probably pass soon. While everyone, especially his children and grandchildren were so sad to see him go, they had the joy of knowing he would soon be reunited with his true love. What a reunion that must have been.
I am so thankful for that afternoon we spent with him. While I don't have years of hunting stories or inside jokes to recall, I have that afternoon where we heard one of the greatest love stories ever told. Thank you and rest in peace and love, Tio Tomas.
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| Another photo I took of Tio Tomas, my father-in-law, and his other brothers with their brother who was in the army. |
